LOL i cant believe i havent posted here since september. thought id provide you all with an update of sorts.

david and i are doing really well. i love living with him. and i really want to marry him. SO BAD. but i don't want to get married when we're uneducated and poor, haha - i dont want our parents to be supporting us when we're married, that's just not right! :P. he says fuck it, lets get married and not tell anyone, and then get married again later with a ceremony......but i dont want to deal with that. i want to do it right. BUT DAMMIT i want to be his wife so bad...

ANYWAY.
we finished up our first semester at the top - he got a 3.74 gpa and i got 3.73. getting a 4.0 is pretty much impossible because they count don't count A- 's as A's....so if you get all A's and an A-, you do not have a 4.0...how annoying is that? i think the highest gpa in our school at the moment is 3.98. or was it 3.89....i dont remember. whatever. we got B's in intro to business (laaaame...we deserved A's) which brought us down. but STILL...we made honors lists so i guess its ok :).

this semester has been tougher - the classes are more confusing and david's been working at the school's IT helpdesk 9 hours a week, AND we've been tutoring math together....at least twice a week we dont leave school until 6pm. it's tiring.

his mother has been really getting to me lately, and i have this "off" button that gets pushed every time im in her presence. i can't control it, lol. it's been impossible for me to act normal around her. she's just....too much, and i cant handle it very well. she and his grandmother are coming out to see us tomorrow....i hope i can at least be civilized.

ever since i stopped using liquid foundation....my face has been A MILLION TIMES BETTER, OMG. how i didnt realize it was my foundation that was making my face look so incredibly diseased.....i will never know. but im so happy my face is more back to normal...not perfect by any means, but at least not like it was. SO HAPPY.

I LOVE DAVID I LOVE DAVID I LOVE DAVID.

lol, forgive me for being so unorganized and random, but its 1:30am and im tired.
hope you all are well! <3

well we found a place just outside of monaco and moved in on monday. its cute. i think its only really meant for one person, and the "kitchen" could be bigger for my liking, but it's not bad. it doesnt have a view of the sea unless you put your left cheek on the window to look out, lol, but thats okay. its got a little bitty covered patio with a table, which is nice. and it came with freakin everything. stuff from a tv and boombox, to hangers and blankets, to shower caps and a blow dryer, lol! :) and its got a really nice bathroom :).

its on the opposite end of monaco than the school, which kindof sucks, but its still really not that far. monaco is only 3 miles long, lol. less than that, actually.

omg. i thought i was gonna be sick AGAIN last nite, after i ate some FISH and realized afterwords there was an expiration date on the package for over a week ago...lol. my stomach was hurting when i went to bed, but i was thrilled to wake up feeling fine. *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF* what is it with me and old fish? jeez!

we visited monaco yesterday, and i saw my new school for the first time! :). its itty bitty! i talked to this woman nadine, who is the director if international services, and she showed me some living options. i cant WAIT to get a place. omg. i have a hard time living in the same home with his mom, LOL. she's just...too messy/frustrating/not really all that pleasant to be around/etc.

soooo i woke up sick this morning. it was awful! throwing up and um, not so pleasant from the other end either...lol. i spent most of the day in bed, obviously.

but boy, does my man take care of me! he of course held my hair back as i hurled, and stood outside the bathroom to make sure i was okay. but he also went and got special food for me (that wouldnt upset my stomach further), made me some tea, and brought in a platter of it all to have at my leisure. and he made sure i knew he was available for anything i needed. AND he kept telling me how hot i looked, even tho i was sick :). DAMN I LOVE HIM.

im feeling much better now, thank god. i think it was some fish i had last nite - it may have been kindof old, i dont know. i was the only one that had any.

i had a sip from a water bottle tonite and then i noticed that there was a mosquito inside the bottle. blah gross! i probably swallowed some mosquito eggs or something.

>:(

IM FINALLY BACK IN FRANCE BABY!!!!!!!!!!

it took 3 planes and about 17 hours total, but i made it :)!!!

i burst into tears when i saw him at the airport. i just stopped where i was and started crying.

and its been taking me a while to get fully used to him again. it was so....strange, kissing him for the first time in 4 months.

but im back and i aint leavin him for a looooooong ass time! YAYYYYYYYYYYY.

got my visa this morning and i got a flight for tomorrow morning at 11am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol, i never actually thought this day would come :P. I AM SO EXCITED.

i FINALLY have everything i need to get my student visa, and i have my appointment at the french consulate this wednesday. i would be super excited, since they should be able to issue the visa to me right then and there, but, as their website states, "a delay of about a month may be required in some cases." IM PRAYING NOT, JEEZ. so i havent bought my plane ticket yet, just in case. but im HOPING to be able to fly away on thursday. im kindof nervous. if they make me wait ANY longer to see my baby, im going to cause such a scene in there, i swear.

and i got my hair done on friday, and its SO BLONDE!!!!!!!!!!! im so happy!! ive been trying to go blonde for almost a year, alternating between highlights that didnt make me blonde enough, and box dyes that turned my hair orange....but its such a nice, light blonde now, im so excited! the only thing tho is that my hair is (obviously) reeeally damaged from all the bleach she used...its not only super dry, but its almost like, stretchy? and it tangles/sticks together very very easily. i expected damage, but this is just like, weird :(. im hoping it improves with some time and tlc.

i got tagged by bonita810, so i guess im obligated :P.

♥ People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

♥ Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

~i am participating but im gonna be boring and not tag anyone else. haha. <3

( onto the quizzy )

FINALLY got the confirmation email from campusfrance! of course they waited until the VERY LAST DAY to do it, lol. but hey, i did get it, so that is definitely a good thing. i was starting to get paranoid they didnt even get my money order and that id have to mail off another one to take another 2 weeks. but im glad my fears were not true.

dad had called insurance on monday and they said itd take 3 or 4 days to process and that we were in luck cuz they started it every monday (something like that). so we're like, great ok, i should be covered by wed or thurs and then we can deal with getting a letter from them. but we called this morning to check and they said they missed the monday sendoff so they will do it next week. TAKE YOUR FREAKING TIME WHY DONT YOU. so i got super frustrated and cried my brain out. its so easy for them to say itll take an extra week, but every DAY away from him is agony. an extra week does not fly with me. poor david called and had to listen to me being all hysterical...i got pretty bad. usually when i cry i dont want anyone else to know and i will try to hide it, but i was pretty loud this time. but one of my best friends called and i told her wut was going on and how upset i was and she came over with food and we had a little picnic at the park, and i felt better. its so nice to have a good friend :).

*sigh*. so, im thinking tho (a little more calmly, lol), that ok: if im covered by next WED, as the woman on the phone said i would be, we'll call then and tell them a letter (the letter i need for my visa stating im covered and will be covered in france) must be faxed or emailed to be printed, because i cannot accept having to wait 10-15 days to receive a letter by mail. IF they are able to give me the letter i need by fax or email, i will then have everything i need. i can then go to the french consulate on thursday or friday of next week, and be out of here by the following monday, august 4. hell, i could even leave saturday the 2nd. so i guess its not too far away... STILL SUCKS I CANT LEAVE NEXT WEEK. OR TODAY. LOL.


im sorry for my angry posts, im sure they're annoying to read. my entries will get a lot more lovely once this is all taken care of. im really not an angry person, lol. once im in france, im practically there for good, and ill be with my baby and ill be alright. in the meantime, i apologize for all this :/.

still waiting on something back from campusfrance. they said itd technically take up to 2 weeks from the date it was sent to them (2 weeks would be this coming wednesday), but i was really hoping maybe id get it sooner :(.

and another thing i need in order to get my student visa is a letter from my health insurance company stating that i am covered, and that the ins company will cover me while i am in france. SO, my dad had called last week and settled my health insurance thing. since im going back to school (i got taken off when i turned 21 and wasnt in school, lol), they reinstated me on my parents plan and they were gonna send us a letter proving my coverage as well as my coverage in france. but ok, come yesterday we roundaboutly (new word, lol :P) found out i actually HADNT been reinstated - as in, no one actually told us, we found out ourselves by chance (kindof long story) - so we called and they were like...oh, ya no she has not been reinstated. and they need more information from us in order to put me on insurance (which we were assured i was already put back on...UGH). AND they need this information directly from my father, meaning, they cannot accept it from my mom (ANNOYING). annnd my dad's out of town until tomorrow night. which is fine, except we cant call sunday when he's home cuz theyre closed, so we have to wait until monday for my father to call so he can give them information i will give him which i couldve just given to mom to give them but NOOO... and they said any letter they send to us (like my proof of health insurance letter for my visa...) will take 10-15 days to get to us. which wouldve been fine had it been sent when my dad talked to them last week, cuz that wud mean id get it early next week, but being that i actually was never reinstated...THATS ANOTHER 2 WEEKS THAT I COULD BE IN FRANCE BUT THAT ILL HAVE TO BE AT HOME WAITING FOR A STUPID LETTER. OMFG.

and ok. i have been away from the love of my life for three long months now and i am not happy. i should definitely be there by now. but all of this FREAKING RED TAPE is driving me up the freaking wall. originally, there were only a couple of personal events that i needed to be in the US for during the end of june, and after that i was planning on being able to fly back to france. BUT being that everything is taking SO DAMN LONG, its WAY past when i shouldve been back to see my baby, and its going to be taking even LONGER. AND THIS DOES NOT FLY WITH ME. i am freaking SUFFERING without the man that i LOVE with EVERYTHING that i am. it is not a case of 'oh well...ill get there eventually!', it is a case of GIVE ME MY EFFING LOVER OR I WILL EFFING SHOOT SOMEONE (ok, maybe not that far, BUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT). and the worst part of all this is that there is nothing i can do about it. all i can do is keep waiting patiently for all my stuff to come in so i can take it all to the french consulate. ive just been waiting for eternity already and my patience is running a little on the thin side.

ok, sorry. not really a nutshell, but you can probably sense my frustration.

my acceptance letter from ium came today!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

so copies of this and a money order to campusfrance goes straight in the mail tomorrow :).

still havent gotten the acceptance letter from ium...but it should be in this week. im so antsy!!!!

aaand im not allowed to sleep in past 9 on weekdays, but since mom and dad left at 9ish to be gone the whole day, i pretended to get up at 9 but went right back to bed once they left, and woke up after 3:30pm, LOL. love doing that. but, im not sure if sleeping late is the culprit or not, since i can usually sleep well after already sleeping a lot, buttt im not sleeping right now. its 5:40am and ive been up all night. ive gotten a lot of stuff done around my room, which is great. and im feeling like having a nice breakfast around 7...something more than honey nut cheerios and coffee lol. im thinking eggs :).

i hope i survive today tho. im working, and then getting my hair done (for free!) at 3:15. a woman at church asked if i could be a hair model for her, and said i could do whatever i wanted for free. soooo im gonna get a trim (i only want like, 1/2 inch off), and my layers refreshed, and maybe she can make me the blonde ive been trying to achieve! i would really love to be a light ashy blonde, not this orange ive got lol. so we'll see!!

i hope the letter comes tomorrow...thatd be fantastic. so then dad and i can go do the money order to campusfrance, and hopefully THEY wont take too long to get THEIR letter back to me so i can go to the french embassy for my visaaaaaaaa. DAMN I WANT MY BABY NOW. waiting SUCKS. GAH! im going crazy i miss him soooooo badly :(. today is 3 months since i left france. thats a long ass time to be away from the man you adore!

my day at work was difficult just cuz of my current crappy mental state. i also wore really painful shoes. i am smart, obviously. the valet guys told me i looked sick, lol.

but i did enjoy driving dad's beemer to work this morning (cuz my car wouldnt start), and then riding the elevator with courteney cox on my way down to the car after work (i love working in beverly hills, lol).

im off my depression medication for the first time in over 3 years, and im doing worse than i thought i would. NOT. COOL.
once i get enrolled in school (HOPEFULLY VERY SOOOOON freakin mail takes so long to get to and from france lol) i can get back on my parents insurance so i can get more meds. but until then....just....ouch.

i miss david. very much. that is all.

lol, i havent updated in a while, have i...

basically, we're trying to get into business school in france. we being david and i.

we were trying ceram. i applied, he tried to apply. but he's got an insanely complicated name situation that the people at the school were not willing to deal with. AND, being that he doesnt have his high school diploma (he never picked it up lol), they wouldnt even let him turn in an application. so.... ceram doesnt work. even tho i got accepted lol.

so just last week he turned me on to the international university of monaco (monaco.edu). not exaaactly france, but kind of. so ive been stressing about applying - the deadline is june 15! eek. he visited the school yesterday and they're not being annoying about his complicatedness, which is a relief! he said they even seemed excited about helping him out and doing what they could for him. hoorah! so....im getting my application together. i still need an academic reference, 2 more passport-style pictures, and my high school transcripts. i think thats it. im going to deal with my college transcripts later (cuz they're mainly to get exempted from classes ive taken already). soooo ya. HOPEFULLY ill take care of all that this week and send it off asap! i sent an email to ium requesting late admission just in case my app came in late. i havent heard from them but i hope it'll be okay. their website says that the very very very latest is july 31, but anything after june 15 is by space available only.

anyways ya, just crossing my fingers!!!!!

i really hope monaco works out. i really really really really do.

i miss my baby :(.

so for some reason last nite i got majorly incredibly excited about helping middle school girls with makeup. so much that i couldnt go to sleep. not even for a measley little hour or anything. freakin.

i crack myself up.

i leave in less than 2 days. im already starting to get really upset about it.

i am so in love with him. 6,000 (i think???) miles is really far. and being away from him is so hard... :'(

and it'll be approx. 3 months (hopefully) until we see each other again.

im not very happy.

wow.

well, the bf's mom is a psychopath. not even kidding. i just researched psychopathy, and she's it.

i also looked up how to deal with psychopaths. basically the only thing you can do is avoid them.

LOL

so you are reading the journal of a girl who will someday be the daughter-in-law of a psychopath.